The Streaker

So this tweaked-out crack-head called Me on sunday morning, tellin’ Me how he was streakin’ in broad daylight out in front of his ex-girlfriend’s church. Apparently he had some fucked-up idea that I would be impressed with this and he wanted Me to tell him what the hell to do when the service was over and the congregation started to exit the chapel. After he told Me what he looked like (a balding, beer-gutted, mofugly, pizza-faced, tiny-peckered little weasel) I let him know he should put on some damn clothes before he got his nekkid self arrested after the alter boys kicked his dumb ass up and down the town square. Turns out he burned his normal church clothes in some incinerator halfway between his house and the church.

All of a sudden, them poor sunday school folk started ambling out onto the sidewalk and this whack job starts jumpin’ up and down, grabbin’ his little dick and screamin’ at his ex-girlfriend, “see what you’re missing, baby? You ain’t gonna find this at the church social next friday night!” I started yellin’ at him to shut the fuck up and listen to Me. I said to him that if he was going to insist upon gettin’ thrown in the town jail, he might as well be honest with the community. Then he starts apologizing to Me and beggin’ Me to tell him what to do and say next. I told him to slap his thighs together, shove that shriveled little pricklet between his legs, and walk bow-legged up to his ex-girlfriend while he literally whistled “Dixie” and pinched his nipples. Haha! Damned if the freakazoid didn’t do just that while he was still on the phone with Me. When he got up to his girlfriend, I told him to say to her, “take a good look, baby, because you will never meet a more fucked-up dumb-ass than me”.

I heard the poor girl gasp and then, apparently, some of the menfolk reached down, grabbed the nutbag by his ankles, turned him upside down, and quickly dragged him off toward a big set of shrubs out back of the church while the crazy man kept screaming, “only naked people get to be angels in heaven!” over and over again. After he got thrown into the shrubs, the police finally showed up and when they asked who he was talking to on the phone, he said, “It’s Saint Peter and he wants Me to show you my cock”. I was laughing so fucking hard and then a policeman got on the phone and asked who I was. I just told him, “you heard the man! Doncha know Saint Peter when you hear Her?!?” and hung up with a giggle. That was definitely the freak of the week!

This entry was posted on Monday, September 24th, 2007 at 9:10 am and is filed under Cuckolding, Cuckolds, Humiliation, Niteflirt, Small Dick Humiliation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.