Addressing My Absence
For almost three weeks, I have been a little difficult to get a hold of because of some really stupid shit. I was waiting on My internet lines to be fixed up proper by My local cable company. The half-witted ass-pickers they sent out to
get My shit done kept fuckin’ every little thing up you could imagine. They came out to My house four times and still never got anything right. By the time they
were done, they left Me with no satellite TV after they stupidly used the wiring for that to hook up My new broadband. When I called them and told them that My TV was workin’ before they got there and now it wasn’t, those pea-brains told Me
to call up the satellite company. I was so fuckin’ pissed. Hell, I had to go up in My attic and find some old wiring and rig that shit back to what it was supposed to be My damn self.
If that weren’t bad enough, the dumbest, stinkiest one of them monkey-wrenchin’ cocksuckers wouldn’t stop trying to get Me to go out and have a beer with him.
This was after he asked Me four times to tip him some extra cash for doin’ jack nothin’ with My internet phone service that I could have done My damn self. It was all I could do to keep from shovin’ My boot so far up his
floppy-jeans-exposin’ butt-crack, that caveman would have been lookin’ for the two teeth he had left on the other side of the county line. Then I found a motherfuckin’ snake a few hours later that the moron had let into My house when he left My door swingin’ wide open for 20 minutes. Well, anyway, I am
back and ready to take out My frustrations on a few new pain sluts, so y’all better get ready to beg for one hell of an ass-whoopin’ while the fire in Me is white hot. Call Me NOW, bitches!